i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.