So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Dating After Heartbreak
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome