I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing