Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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