Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(203): View more from Connecticut

she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...

Fav 28 916 5442
share tweet
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off

Fav 17 5919 1645
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(919): View more from North Carolina

Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate

Fav 3 5081 1282
share tweet
(503): View more from Oregon

Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.

Fav 9 1031 2270
share tweet
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(260): View more from Indiana

She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.

Fav 6 971 2269
share tweet
(516): View more from New York

I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much

Fav 1 1457 792
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(801): View more from Utah

I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.

Fav 3 1119 1061
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone

Fav 2 583 443
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(315): View more from New York

i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things

Fav 4 628 877
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT