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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's

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• (207): View more from Maine

  I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.

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• (254): View more from Texas

  I have the starring role in a literal shit show.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels

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• (323): View more from California

  I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.

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