We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
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Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
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Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.