You're a womanizer and a bitch.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
