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Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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