Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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