Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It's shark week go big or go home
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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