dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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