If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
