you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Randomize
