i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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