part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
no you cant smoke seaweed
then he tried to convert me to islam
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
