I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
