whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
