I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
