What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
