Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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