I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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