It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
