so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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