look no pants
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize