Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize