Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
