Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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