Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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