I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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