We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
