lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Randomize
