Your tits are I can't wait for
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
