come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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