Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
barbara walters just said penis...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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