Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Your penis caused this!
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