not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
