May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
