I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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