This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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