thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
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It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
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You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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