Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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