Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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