I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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