this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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