If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
