yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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