i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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