I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
