youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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