I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
