If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
