also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
