Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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