if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
