dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
