i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Green mimosas i think yes
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
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