two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
