Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
