I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
