So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
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You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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