the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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