After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll