I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt