Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
are you so shy because you have an std?
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE