Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it