do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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