just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
