So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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