farters have to be the big spoon...
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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