We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
