you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
bring money and cleavage
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
