i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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