She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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