Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
